Viewers In Need

Congratulations to everyone involved in last night's record breaking Children In Need appeal. Many critics are hailing this year's televisual abortion as, not only the worst Children In Need ever, but as the worst television programme ever made. A BBC spokes-Wogan said 'Initially, we had our doubts, but when the producers announced that we had Fearne Cotton on board, we all realised that we could make the show even worse than the third episode of 1984's  'The Lenny Henry Show' (previously regarded as the worst television show of all time). Sadly, the Children In Need team will not get a chance to make an even worse show, as  this year's was so shockingly bad, the government has had no choice but to break up the BBC and ban television altogether.......................................probably. I don't know, I didn't watch it. I'm not stupid.