Former Liberal Democrat leader Paddy Pantsdown has vowed to oppose government plans for a £26,000/year benefits cap. 'If there's one thing that the British people can rely on me to do, it's to whip off my pants and shag anything with a pulse.' squarked the liberal lothario 'This unflinching policy during my time as leader, led me to sire thousands of illegitimate liblings who's yummy mummies rely on these benefits to bring up my magnificent spawn. A Tory benefits cap could be the one thing standing between my clone army and global domination. Therefore I will be voting against the bill when it comes before The House Of Lords'.
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