This week I've been annoying the neighbours with my attempts to learn how to play the pandamonium. I'm sure I don't have to tell you that the pandamonium is a Chinese bamboo bagpipe once favoured by the great warriors of The Thing Dynasty which they deployed as they marched into battle against the various walls which someone kept building right in the way of wherever it was they happened to be going.
Of course, the major drawback of the pandamonium is that it makes an unutterably horrible din which most living creatures find impossible to tolerate or even survive, the only person who ever came close to accurately describing this terrifying cacophony was Peregrine Poolord XIV who, in his 'Great Procrastinator's Almanac of 1828' said that it sounded 'like a bagpipe'. This auditory abomination often attracts brigades of ravenous pandas who, keen to put an end to the painful racket so they can get back to not having sex, fall upon the pandamoniumist and chow down on the offending bamboo-constructed contrivance, the ensuing chaos of course, giving the pandamonium it's name.
No comments:
Post a Comment