Monday 12 December 2011

Number One Never Ending Extremely Profitable Antiques Roadshow Feedback Loop

 Unbelievable scenes! While cleaning out the upstairs spare bedroom of my bungalow, I came across this dusty looking VHS of the very first series of BBC1's perennial Sunday night favourite 'The Antiques Roadshow'. Immediately I knew I had stumbled across something very special and, as luck would have it, 'The Roadshow' itself was in town that very day. So naturally, I packed up my treasure, put on my socks, pants, trousers, shirt, jumper, shoes, kipper tie, ear-muffs, anti-slip steel toe-capped safety boots, tights, braces, girdle, bra, gimp mask and coat and headed off to the church hall.
 Fiona Bruce and the other experts were clearly impressed by my find and started quacking on about my video's historical significance, so I brutally cut them short and told them to stop f*cking around and get straight on to telling me what it was worth. Well, let's just say that I wasn't disappointed. Never one to miss out on a money making opportunity, I quickly made my way home to video the show, which I am going to take to have valued at next week's filming in Stoke. I expect my ongoing cultivation of 'Roadshow' videos to be very profitable indeed.

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