Ceefax

It wasn't 98% porn and 2% kittens. It didn't pretend to be your rich Nigerian uncle. It didn't try and sell you herbal Viagra. It usually worked. When it didn't work, you didn't have to spend an arm and a leg ringing it from your mobile phone because it had f*cked your land line. You couldn't use it to coordinate a riot.  It didn't exist purely to sell you sh*t you don't want. Your 'friends' didn't use it to inform you about the most tedious and mundane aspects of their empty lives. You never had to reinstall Ceefax. It didn't give your money to Bill Gates or Rupert Murdoch. It never contained malware. The graphics were f*ckin' ace and I had more hair.