I think we can all understand Prince Philip's brilliant idea of pretending to have a bladder infection on this, the most tedious day so far of The Queen's sixty years in charge of this nasty little country. Palace sources claim that the palace sauce himself has been taken to hospital as a precautionary measure. A precautionary measure against the wily old bastard dusting off his elephant gun and taking a few pot-shots at the various slices of nob cheese who will be performing at this evening's Jubilee concert no doubt. Perhaps these performers would do well to remember that The Queen and Prince Philip were young approximately seventy-five years ago and as such, are unlikely to give a shit about them. Even though our entire royal family does a very good job of appearing to be almost unbelievably dim, I don't think that even The Q-Unit In Chief herself is dim enough to want to watch Gary fucking Barlow wheeled out in his fat-suit for the whole nation to patriotically hate/ignore.
Nice one Philip, give the nurse one from me will ya? Ya fecking dirty old genius you.
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